please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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