White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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