this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize