and she was petting her beer can
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
