Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
as a side note pls kill me
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
