Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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