:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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