Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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