they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just gift wrapped bread.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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