you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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