I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
