I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
