I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
