we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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