Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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