Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I think my moral compass just broke
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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