Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
