I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I am spending my child support on dildos
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
