Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
