TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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