I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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