We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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