Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
