so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
