Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
