whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i drank out of a bidet.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
