just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
