Screwed.edu
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
