omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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