ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
