Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
