A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
