Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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