Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I can text with my tongue
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
