Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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