Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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