It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
