On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm both gender and math confused
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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