i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
