she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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