too bad you live with your parents still
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
