The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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