she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
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