'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
3pm strippers are depressing
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
