Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
