Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I had to cum in my sink.
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