I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You can't just leave with hair like that
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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