He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
