Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
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Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
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Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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