your room smells of hookers.
And success
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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