this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
