i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
