The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The beer is more important than you right now.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
