I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
