i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
