I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
honey bunches of taint.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
