everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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